I feel I have to update everyone on my Mom and her well-being. (wrapped up with my own, of course.) I have moved forward A LOT with how I cope with her changing needs. I have packed my bookshelf with current books on the subject of Age-Related Dementia and Alzeimer's and feel I have a better perspective now.
It's still hard work, and can be very sad, but I am now able to be more empathetic to my Mom, and my frustration and anger are now about what the symptoms do to her rather than warping my feelings about her.
This is a BIG deal. As anyone caring for a a loved one with a terminal illmess can tell you, you go through a real grieving process with all the stages, and I am close to the acceptance stage.
This does not mean that I have no hope -- but I no longer hope for a CURE. I believe that my Mom, who is 91, is experiencing brain aging, which may or may not be Alzeimers -- which itself may or may not be a form of brain aging!
I focus now on my relationship with her, helping her have pleasant experiences in her day and helping her through the confusing moments. My capacity for patience has exponentially increased now that I no longer focus on her condition. My attitude change came with time and a lot of great books -- listed below -- hopefully some of you can get some help with your own loved one too.